Posts by Aussie Oz

38

the journey of my children in awakening

by Aussie Oz in

at the request of some, i have gone through many of my posts of the last 3 years to collect all my methods i used to awaken my children to the truth about the truth.. from oldest to newest (i will do them in a few posts so its not an endless scroll thru).

had a bit of a chat today about the internet (which i know he likes to use at my place).

in his use of the net today i found one site he visited was one i had visited to get a pdf of a society publication.

Aussie Oz

I am such a placid person. I will always turn the other cheek. I will always be the one to yeild. Yet tonight i am so angry. I seriously wish ill to my ex.

i curse her. When we parted, i wished her all the happiness that the future could bring for her. Now i want nothing more than to see her rot in hell so to speak.

I am sure that religion is the problem. I can simply not understand why she will not even under the cloud of family law court simply allow the children to spend every second weekend with me. 12 years i have been fighting her.

I can only reason that she sees them missing each second sunday meeting as the work of satan. I am sure she sees it as a case of protecting the children from 'spiritual endagerment'

i so want to destroy her faith in this crock of a religion now. I want her to feel awful about what she has done. My children have missed out on so much because of her, and i have too.

i so badly want to get my kids out. I want her to lose them as a consequence of trying to keep them. I am so angry right now. How can she sleep at night. I wish she could not sleep at night.

my mediation session went very bad today. Just when i thought she could take no more time away from me and the kids, she just tried. I feel like going on television, the news paper, something real dramatic to call attention to her evilness that i am sure is backed up by her elders.

I hope i have calmed down by tomorrow.

I always thought 'true christians' were the model of how a family breakdown would be handled. I obviously lived under a mushroom.

i appologise for my rant. It is so unlike me to wish ill to another. i cant help it tonight. I feel so totally powerless. i feel like crying.

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cyberjesus; thankyou

hopscotch; as much as i feel like some public exspose' of her, i fear in the end it would backfire and be motivated by my anger! She has already become the master at manipulation of professsionals. But i could be pursuaded to take part in a doco on them.

iknowall; my kids get no say, when we broke up she promised me that i would always have the best acsess. I grew up the same... i was allowed to hate my dad. we got moved 600km away from him. I lost 22 years of my dad. and i have more to do with him than mum now, although i love mum very much, i think she was doing what she thought best. BUT that does not excuse it either really. My ex no doubt feels she is protecting them from 'spititual endangerment' or something. Yes it is out of control and i am having to fight for scraps, but i will not back down this time.

Penny2; yeah, i hope so. i can see the tables turning, but sometimes kids just get sucked right in. i will always be there for them. i dont want mine to be of that number. i am slowly working on them.

Blacksheep: not sure i understand! thats the last thing i want... maybe you are suggesting some sort of reverses phsycology? They then leave and she has to shun them?

hortenzie: 12 years... when we broke up she promised me the world regarding acsess and as a 'decent christian woman' i beleived her. at the start the kids were very little. have been through mediation back in 2001 that was a disaster. She made some very serious legal threats and i was weak and truly scared of what she would do and backed down. each time i tried to get better acsess as the years went by she would throw just enough bone to control the situation. She has fabricated phsycological issues in my son that she has used to also control the acsess. But now, she has tried to make the acsess even less and the tables are turned. this time i have nothing to lose, i have the money and lawyers and am prepared to spend. here, we have to have mediation fail before it can go to court, and that is the process i am in now.

michelle365; sounds very similar, just mine wont actually say it because she knows that no judge in aust will allow religion to be a tool. thats why she fabricated the phsyco issues as a legal smokescreen. all the best... your situation sounds aweful.

cry; yes. i am a litle panicky. she will not agree that the kids must wait until 18 before baptism either, so i am on alert as they are 13 and 16.

nugget; cant agree more... they know i am fighting for them. i am sure it will backfire...well i hope so! after 22 years of hating my dad i found him to be a most wonderful man. i am so glad i found him again.

GLT; i do call them on my sons mobile, probably not enough so i will step it up i think! my daughter always seems to lose hers! i have thought of getting them a laptop but i know she would ban the internet so maybe i could bring that up if it goes to court. (which i think it will.)

for the record, the current access is every two weeks friday at 5pm to saturday 3 pm. she wants to retain that PLUS now make me drive all the way instead of 1/2 way each. That would mean: leave home at 3pm friday to pick them up at 5 and get home again at 7. get up at say 8 in the morning and be together for 5 hours till we get in the car at 1pm and drop them to the ex at 3 and get home at 5 again. That is actually more time in the car than in visiting! 8 hours driving in two days for about 7 hours of real 'quality' time.

this simply is not acceptable.

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Thanks Chris, i see what you mean... i dont think i'll ever lever her out! I just had to rant or let my head implode! I cannot fathom the workings of her mind. It seems the common thread though, they are mostly incapable of rational thought and empathy.

i am focusing much more on subtle festerings...the time has come however for me talk about the shunning they will be expected to do if they get baptised. The mother would not agree that they should wait till 18, so its going to be full on now she knows i am against the idea as it came up in mediation.

i focus on being a good dad thats for sure! and teaching them to think...

thanks for the support

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I have a 13 year old daughter and a 16 year old son that i get to see pretty much for one day a fortnight and am working at having them for at least two.

When the kids are down it is too easy to focus on my 16 year old son as he is into cars etc and often wants to help beuild my hotrod when they come down.

My daughter is so quite that i dont know what to do with her for fun. Left to her own devices she will very happily play computer games all day as when she is home with her mother she gets little free time what with chores and looking after two younger sibliings while mum works at night.

I find i have to prompt everything, if i say lets do this or that it's 'ok'. she will come and work on the cars, or make stuff in the shed, go to the beach or the park etc but i also want to focus on her 'girlness' a bit too! She is really hard to draw out as to what she likes or wants to do for herself.

My wife is willing and able to help, but can anyone suggest some good 'father daughter' activities? As they get older, my son may not visit as often (once he gets his drivers licence) so i may well have more one on one time for her and want to use it well. She was still pretty much a baby when i left her mother and she has only ever known me through fortnightly visits. i really want to be closer to her through the next few years if i can.

Guys, what do/did you do with your daughters at this age?

gals, what did you like to do with your dads?

38

the journey of my children in awakening

by Aussie Oz in

at the request of some, i have gone through many of my posts of the last 3 years to collect all my methods i used to awaken my children to the truth about the truth.. from oldest to newest (i will do them in a few posts so its not an endless scroll thru).

had a bit of a chat today about the internet (which i know he likes to use at my place).

in his use of the net today i found one site he visited was one i had visited to get a pdf of a society publication.

Aussie Oz

Thanks guys! I dont think they tell their mum much at all.

I am finding it very intersting that all the things they do and know that is 'worldly' has come from friends and the internet and not from me!

I just remembered another gem from the chat on saturday, we got talking about living ones authentic life... my daughter said 'that means living as who you really are on the inside'.

It appears thay are both able to think for themselves which bodes well i think. I only hope that the mothers and the WT guilt trips have little effect.

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7 june 2010

My son chose to go home this saturday afternoon, thats ok, i fought for him to have a choice and i am glad to see him use it. Among the reasons were that he had mike duty at the meeting... i couldn't help myself and dropped a remark about looking down girls tops! He just went 'not with their dads next to them!'

Anyway, that gave my wife and i a whole extra day just with my daughter. On a drive into the country we had a discussion on choices, and in particular how important it was to make informed choices. She seemed to understand well the concept of needing information from many sources in order to do this.

We talked about things such as choices in career and marriage mate. Even at thirteen, i feel she is being groomed for the life of subserviant mother. She has switched from wanting to go to art school to being a child care worker (not that there is anything wrong with that!) I realize of course that at her age she will likely change her mind many times. But i want her to always know that she has choices! My wife is a classic example of a woman who is not in subjection to me, we used her example of independance both financial and emotional. Talked about how a couple does not need one to be the 'boss' or the 'head of the household', rather a couple are fully capable of making joint decisions, be together and still maintain thier own independance in so many ways.

I was able to use a sister of mine and myself as examples of people who grew up isolated from knowing anything about the world or life and thus didnt actually make a choice, rather did what we thought we were supposed to do. My sister actually got baptised so she could marry as she was taught that this was the only way a girl could leave home.

It was a lovely talk!

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Thankyou for the kind words,

We do have some good talks now. I am careful though to have some visits free from discussing stuff as i dont want them to feel that every time they come down it has to involve this sort of thing.

My daughter actually does not have the choice to go home if her older brother does. She stays for the full weekend, thats it. We did talk about how this set up will help her be better prepared for the time when he may choose not to visit at all some weekends.

It also was arranged this way to stop the ex wife from from limiting her time as she gets older, which has been a tactic of hers for many years.

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22 June 2010

well this was a different weekend. For the first time EVER my son decided not to have visitation. I was very sad and at the same time happy...kinda weird. He was doing exactly what i had been fighting his mother for.

At least it was to attend a worldly party that his worldly girlfriend was going to!

So, it gave me the whole weekend with my daughter and we had a ball. Spent most of the time in the shed playing making manniquin heads...

I stayed away from saying anything remotely anti JW etc.

But she found found my sketch pad with the drawing i just did of the 'watchtower whitewash' cartoon i recently posted here...opened it up, placed it on display against the wall and said nothing.

I wonder what was going through her brain!

38

the journey of my children in awakening

by Aussie Oz in

at the request of some, i have gone through many of my posts of the last 3 years to collect all my methods i used to awaken my children to the truth about the truth.. from oldest to newest (i will do them in a few posts so its not an endless scroll thru).

had a bit of a chat today about the internet (which i know he likes to use at my place).

in his use of the net today i found one site he visited was one i had visited to get a pdf of a society publication.

Aussie Oz

23 may 2010

HAD THE MOST AMAZING TALK WITH MY KIDS TODAY! This a long post!

I decided it was time to talk about baptism, disfellowshipping and shunning. Having already established a few weeks ago that i keep up to date with the watchtower via the official website i started by asking what they knew about me. About my time as a JW. The answer was 'not much'. So i asked if they were aware that they disfellowshipped me, which they were aware of.

I commented that i notice the latest issues of watchtower study have been talking about young people taking the step of dedication and baptism and asked what they think would happen if they got baptised... answer 'we would not be allowed to see you anymore'.

I then asked how they felt about this...'that would suck'.

I then used the example of being in a Brand car club and how stupid and hurtful it would be to be not only kicked out for buying another brand which is fine for breaking the rules but how much worse it would be if on top of that they then refused to ever talk to you again. This was a good and effective illustration for them.

I asked my son was considering baptism and the answer was 'no'. I said that the book to study in preperation missed out one very important teaching, While it talked about disfellowshipping it did not talk about shunning. So essentialy, the subject may not even be talked about until after baptism. I asked if they were aware of what was said at baptism... that the bible says to baptise in the name of the father, son and holy spirit. Did they know what the actual words were at the assembly talks? No, they did not. I suggested that next assembly when they have the baptism talk to listen to the end bit where they stand up and they will hear this; in the name of the father, son and spirit directed organization.

I asked what they thought that meant. Not really.. i explained that what it basically meant was that they were baptised to serve an organization more than god.

A LIGHT CAME ON MY 13 YR OLD GIRLS HEAD! 'so its like signing a contract with fine print?" I answered yes, in fact it can be so fine that some times the fine print can be so small that you cant read it.

We then talked about such ideas as why are they considered old enough to make this whole life course chioce when society recognizes that they are not old enough to drive, drink alcohol, or get married yet. That scientist recognize that the brain has not yet finished growing until sometime around the mid twenties yet they could be considered to be mature enough to make this life chioce at ages far younger than are even now.

I asked if they knew how old Jesus was when he got baptised... 'no, dont know' When i said 30 they were surprised... i asked why did he not do it when he was say, 15? After all, he knew he was gods son, why did he wait? I eplained tht he was not considered a man till then, not mature enough to make this choice till then.

We then talked about how hard it can be to leave if you change your mind, about doing something wrong leading to disfellowshipping if they were not sorry, to what it meant if they D/A themselves. That even if they just stopped going that oneday someone might come looking to see if they were doing anything wrong ON WENT A LIGHT IN MY SONS HEAD. A look that said i know what you mean... i've seen it sort of look.

I explained how that in 1947, a loooong time ago, the watchtower told the catholic church off for excomuncation but 5 years later adopted the practice them selves. That the bible says to quit mixing with ...extortioners, drunkeds, greedy people etc, did they see that in me? In anyone they know that is not a JW? 'no,no' I explained that the bible has some good guidelines to live a good life but that other books and teachings did the same.

Yesterday i took them to see their aunt who never got baptised and used her as an example of another alternative to being baptised, that she was in a good happy life, married with babies, a hard worker and she didnt do drugs or smoke either. That being a JW was not the only way to have a good life.

I asked if they believed everything they were being taught, both answered 'no.'

my son volunteeered that he did not believe worldly people were all bad and that shunning was right. I asked why...' i have seen enough to know, and i talk to friends that are disfellowshipped when i see them.'

We talked about the importance of proving everything they are taught to themselves, To NEVER beleive what mum, the watchtower or even I told them without proving it to themselves. Research research research! Use the library, use the internet. You want to know what the baptists are up to? google it! You can google JW and learn lots too. Dont be like me who was so isolated that i just beleived every thing i was told...

I finished off by asking them to ask me questions anytime about my time as a witness, my last 12 years years, what i believe etc.

It took a while and we covered a lot. I think not too much as it was all tied together in subject. And i am sure i have forgotten some stuff. But the HUGE thing was that through it all, i could really see that they understood exactly what i was talking about. The lights were on!

I finished thinking that perhaps my 13 yr old girl was more switched on and a deep thinker than i thought.

Later on, with my wife unaware that we had had this talk today, while in the car taking them home we joked about an old church we saw on the way. That we should start our own religion! Ha ha, a great way to make money! All the tithing and donations. My daughter gave her a look that she saw as 'i know exactly what you mean!' My wife spoke a little about the time she was dating a mormon and how some 18 yr old 'elder' tried to tell her how to live her life... again, a knowing look. Surprised the wife too.

All up, i think it went well. neither off them had discomfort, infact, the opposite. They really paid attention, far more than in other talks. Perhaps i should have had a bunch of printouts and quotes from the WT publications. But i sort of had to seize the moment. I may well get the paper proof side of it lined up for another time though.

I tried to not tell them what was right or wrong and tried to get them to think. Indeed, this was also covered. About how the biggest gift i could give them as a father was the getting them to be thinkers. Allways think for themselves.

oz

edit: i also asked permission to discuss other things i might read in the watchtower as i was very interested in the things they were learning... that i may want to know what they think of some things. permission granted, not a problem.

38

the journey of my children in awakening

by Aussie Oz in

at the request of some, i have gone through many of my posts of the last 3 years to collect all my methods i used to awaken my children to the truth about the truth.. from oldest to newest (i will do them in a few posts so its not an endless scroll thru).

had a bit of a chat today about the internet (which i know he likes to use at my place).

in his use of the net today i found one site he visited was one i had visited to get a pdf of a society publication.

Aussie Oz

Update 27 feb 2010

Got talking about money today. At 16 he has alredy saved a lot of money and bought his second car for some $3500. Praised his step father for teaching him about saving money and led it to how i never did. Talked about buying a block of land after his apprentichip is finished, and about investing, how the stock market works on a basic level, superanuation (is that the 401k to americans?) and realestate. Basically the diference of each one when it comes to returns.

I said you have to plan for the future... i didnt because well, i was scared armageddon would come before i got my drivers licence! We lived like it was so close that we shouldn't go to university, shouldn't put into our super etc because we were never going to need it! And here i am now, no assetts at all and facing retirement in 15 or so years.

I then said, actually that happened to a lot before 1975 as well, because the end was so close that some even sold homes and spent all the money pioneering, only to find that 35 years later they have almost nothing to retire on... in fact even back into the decades before that i told him they all thought the same.

so son, i said, plan for 50 years time! the smart ones do because what if it still hasn't come by then? how will you provide for your wife and family?

I was very careful to not give the impression that i though the JWs were wrong though. Just some seeds of doubt that may spring to live one day!

oz

Edit; oh, and another funny thing... the kids and i made guns today... we were going to work on the hotrod but we took the kids to my wifes sisters house for her mothers birthday... they has these wooden rubberband guns that the kids spent hours playing with. This morning they decided they wanted to make their own and thats what we did. One 'rifle' and one 'machine gun'. All steel, they did the cutting, grinding , i did the welding on my daughters as she was scared to and my son welded his.

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they had a ball! i took them to my wifes birthday dinner not long ago as well. My son told his mother they were ging to a family thingy of my wifes and that was all. and my daughter actually wished her happy birthday!

It is all so encouraging and yet i know that the older they get the tighter the tenticals get.

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1 May 2010

Had the kids last weekend, the first ever where they both got to stay a full one!

Amongst all the shite going on re visits i have still magaged to slip in de-program thoughts.

Saturday morning early and my boy and i are having a coffee on the front steps and i got to talking about his 'worldly' girl friend that mother does not not know about. In the course of finding out what she was like and why he liked her i commented on the fact that his mum would not aprove. That the society also frowns on this as they think she will lead him away from them. As we progressed in our chat i was able to add in that nobody has the right to stop him seeing her. That the only time a parent should step in is if there was real evidence that the love interest was a very bad person to hang around with, not if it's just that they dont like or they are not of the same religion.

Also in the chat was my own experience i added in that in all my years since i left their mum, in all the thousands of people i have met i had not met any that tried to turn me to drugs or debauchery, crime or wickedness like they said in the watchtower! I explained that what they meant was that in all these houses we could see out the front, that every person was a wicked servant of the devil just waiting for the opportunity to get us.

We came inside and i asked if his girlfriend was on facebook... he then told me that some group photo's with him in them at his school sports day were on somebodies myspace or something and that his mother went nuts! Anyway we looked up his girlfriend on facebook, with the profile set to private of course. I asked if he would like a facebook account he could use when down with dad to which he replied he had been thinking of asking if he could! Of course i said yes, but as your father i will insist on knowing your password as i will check it from time to time to make sure no real bad stuff was going on. This was not because i did not trust him but that as his father i still have a responsability to look out for him especially while legally a minor. He had no problem with this so i kinda hope he asks to set one up.

It was during this visit that i also let him know that even though i have not been a witness for a long time, i still keep up with what is in the magazines on the watchtower website as i feel it is imoprtant to know what he and his sister are being taught. This of course takes the mystery and danger out of my source of information for future discussions i plan with them.

from little things big things grow...

oz

edit: While talking about his girlfriend, he said when he was with her he could be 'himself'. I thought that was pretty significant so i asked if he felt he could be the same here (and i know he does) ... to which he affirmed and also affirmed that with mum he was not really himself that much. Later in the car we talked about feelings and he said he could tell his girlfriend anything, that he told never tells his mother his feelings. I encouraged him to feel free to tell me his true feelings anytime, that at his age i had no one i confided in, that now i am able to tell my father anything no matter how intimate...

38

the journey of my children in awakening

by Aussie Oz in

at the request of some, i have gone through many of my posts of the last 3 years to collect all my methods i used to awaken my children to the truth about the truth.. from oldest to newest (i will do them in a few posts so its not an endless scroll thru).

had a bit of a chat today about the internet (which i know he likes to use at my place).

in his use of the net today i found one site he visited was one i had visited to get a pdf of a society publication.

Aussie Oz

At the request of some, I have gone through many of my posts of the last 3 years to collect all my methods i used to awaken my children to the truth about the truth.

from oldest to newest (I will do them in a few posts so its not an endless scroll thru)

Had a bit of a chat today about the internet (which i know he likes to use at my place). in his use of the net today i found one site he visited was one i had visited to get a pdf of a society publication. he would have only found that link by looking thru a file in my folders called 'jw' (not sure how i feel about him knowing i am doing research etc)

It began with me asking if they still had no internet at home, how did his step dad buy stuff online without it?(Library) And it led to yeah, i know the witnesses dont really like the net much do they? led it to talking about China, and how a lot of the net is off limits to the people by government control. I asked him why he thought the chinese govt would want to stop its people accessing the whole internet... his answer was maybe they didn't want the people to read bad stuff about them?

Led to mentioning the scientologists who also control internet usage among its followers, and now why on earth would a religion want to do that? Surely if a government or religion had nothing to hide, they wouldn't try to stop or limit the use of the internet? he agreed with this too.

I know of course that there are a lot of places on the internet that one would not want a kid to go too, but at least i had him thinking about restrictions as not only protection but also as a negitive information control measure.

small seed planted. This is a smart kid and i must get him to think for himself before it is too late.

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He does see me 1 day each 2 weeks. Not enough and trying to get more.

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From billythe exbethelite:Here's another seed I've been able to plant with the dubs about the Internet.

Whenever I buy anything of much expense, I do my research on the Internet. I need a new printer? I go to the web and do my research. No, I don't just go to the manufacturer's site, they'll say how perfect every product of theirs is. I need some REAL input on this stuff, not marketing hype. What are the pros and cons of the different models as explained by hopefully unbiased professionals? What about the reviews by people that have bought and used these products? What don't they like and why? Then I make up my mind. That's saved me from making bad choices on purchases.

Would we expect people to NOT research a decision as important as changing their religion? Can we really expect intelligent people to only get input from nicely dressed literature salesmen knocking at the door? Nope. This is the Information Age, and people can... and will... go to the web and search "Jehovah's Witnesses" or "Watchtower".

yep, good method Billy. will use this one! his fave pastime at the moment is researching cars as he is about to get his licence. So i think this approach is one he will understand.

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Well, another two weeks gone by. He got his learners permit and we went for a drive. It's really weird having a kid control a car, yet i must remember that was me once!

anyway, had a little chat about how he felt about turning 16 and getting his learners etc. Felling a little more grown up and realizing that he is gaining more freedom to do what he wants.

slipped in some comments on "not ever letting anybody or any one, no matter who they are, tell you what you can be or what to think. Your brain is yours and dont ever let anyone control what you believe".

left it at that and took him to his JW mates WII party with girls!

Perhaps not a huge seed but... from little things big things grow.

i also found out he spent hours texting non witness girl from school the night before too. as well as he said how he likes pole dancers and bikini oiled girl wrestling! WTF! ( I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT WHEN HE IS WITH ME HE IS NOT EMBARRESSED TO REVEAL HIS TRUE SELF) he sure aint getting this influence from me! I might be a horny devil and a red blooded male but i make a point of not influencing him in that direction. He sure knows more than me at that age!

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New update 2 Jan 2010.

Had a talk with the kids today about pedophiles.

I asked them if they know what a pedophile is. My daughter volunteered that 'it is someone who likes to look at pictures of children with no cloths on'. This is, it turned out, the ONLY information either of them had EVER been given. My 16 old son said he just kinda figured it out himself.

So, a somewhat embarresed father explained to his kids about being touched in lets say, 'inapropriate places' . (I was quite specific) Further, that very often it was a crime done by people who have gained your trust as opposed to a total stranger. I also used the example of who do the police want to interveiw most when somebody has been murdered? The answer from them both was, the family. I asked them if they were aware of the Catholic church scandels about priests touching children etc, and indeed they were. So i went on to expalin that it was also something that can happen in the boy scouts, the life saving club, at dance lessons, even among the JW, or at school.

I explained that just because somebody was at the meetings with them, that did not automaticaly make them a good person, however, not to go around looking sideways at every one either. To just be aware that in ANY organization where children are expected to trust grown ups, this sort of bad thing could happen, in fact even in the 'truth', it HAS happened.

I also left them in no doubt as to what to do about it and who to tell if anybody tried to touch them, or even knew that somebody had tried. I left the discussion on the note that i felt i had to talk about thisbecause, i asked, how do you think i would feel if i did not do this, and then found out 10 years latter that they had been molested? It was my duty as a parent to make sure they were fully informed about crimes like this.

This session was more about protecting them from hidden pedopjiles than turn them off the JW. But, i must say, i am really browned off with the serious lack of talking to kids about sex, pedophiles etc in that religion.

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update:

Have been leaving talking to the kids alone a bit the last month while waiting to go into mediation with the mother.

Interesting but small things of note, the talk i had with my son about the internet being controlled by some govt and religious organizations has stayed in his mind... he commented on this when google was in the news recently over china.

also today had a little talk to my just turned 13 daughter about university. See, she wants to be an artist. She said she would probably just do the school art subjects and see where life took her...(WARNING BELLS) I took the conversation back to pro education, even if it was not in the arts. How it was entirely possible that by the time she is 22 she could have a degree etc and still be young enough to do anything, that at that age, when her friends are managing McDonalds she could be managing an art gallery, working with museums, or be on her way to being a doctor, a lawyer.

I told her that if she did not do that sort of thing it can be near impossible later, with marriage, mortgages, kids etc to go back and do it later. That she might think thats a long way off, but it is not really, 3 years more and i said you will 16 and doing year 11... it comes fast.

she said she had not thought about it that way. I concluded by encouraging her to remember that she must not let ANYBODY hold her back from doing things like that in her life.

small steps, small steps

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Thankyou Yknot, what you said means alot as i was (and still am) constantly told what a bad dad i was (am)

Wuz, i am beginning to see the same with the kids and their mother... i have never lied to them nor tried to poison them either, but they do see their mother lying to them and me...

Ok, will post this as it rather long and will continue the reposts from the past in another post

20

Thankyou dad, for making me think...

by Aussie Oz in

son was up visiting today and we had some great little chats about all things watchtower.

i would say the chances of him going back are real slim now, for he was telling me of some of his own wtf research on the internet about them.. anyway, at one point he came up, gave me a big hug and said "thankyou for making me think".

it seems that all the little seed dropping and question dropping over the last 3 years really did work!

Aussie Oz

Thanks all again, and yes Lois, the internet is a great connection, the trick is to monitor their usage and be up front about it to them. Dont let them have facebook to young either and if/when you do, know their passwords.

I kept jwfacts on my favorites bar...and i know that at times it would show up on the use history. I knew it was them...

i also kept a folder in my pictures part of the PC titled 'JW', i showed them it was there, showed them what it contained and left it at that. I know they visited that from time to time as well

Oz

20

Thankyou dad, for making me think...

by Aussie Oz in

son was up visiting today and we had some great little chats about all things watchtower.

i would say the chances of him going back are real slim now, for he was telling me of some of his own wtf research on the internet about them.. anyway, at one point he came up, gave me a big hug and said "thankyou for making me think".

it seems that all the little seed dropping and question dropping over the last 3 years really did work!

Aussie Oz

I have a question, how did you maintain communication? One of my kids runs hot and cold, sometimes we talk, other times he won't respond at all. With the other I have nothing, haven't for years.

I'd love to "drop seeds" as you say, but don't know how when I can't communicate.

My communication with the kids was limited to a visit once each two weeks. And it was very often for only a day. The ex had managed to manipulate access visits to bugger all time. There was no mobile phones for a long time. It was real tough at times wondering if they were even thinking about me inbetween visits even. and when they did come with a mobile phone, it was their mothers spare and i was forbidden to even know the number.

Once the boy had his drivers licence i saw him maybe every 3 weeks for a day. By that time i had secured 2 days each 2 weeks with the daughter though. I felt i had lost the boy to the JWs at that time.

I remember each time i saw them i was on edge as i so desperatlry wanted to talk to them, to get into thier heads, it was easier with my daughter. My son tended to close off, at times he would say that he knows now (before baptism) is the time to question but he just does not want to.

He went through a fair bit of therapy that blamed all his problems on me. he did blame me for all his unhappiness at that time too, so that was tough to swallow.

Still, i didn't stop dropping hints about the JWs and asking little questions anyway. I also think that his step father and his mother did a great job of driving the kids away from them and the JWs. He started to get into trouble with the JWs for having worldly girlfriend and getting drunk, how they they treated him repelled him from them more, he saw plenty of hypocrasy around him.

all i did was the best with the time i had...and sometimes i just avoided talking about the JWs at all in case they got jacked off that everytime they came to visit it became an anti JW session and not about fun.

At the end of the day, all you can do is carefully use the time you do get and rely on the fact that the WT manages to retain fewer of its young ones than ever before to help you...

Oz

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

Aussie Oz

I think at the end of the day Winston, i think you will play it just right!

you have orchestrated a great fade so far and you will continue too...

yeah, i liked the chickens analogy too

Oz

20

Thankyou dad, for making me think...

by Aussie Oz in

son was up visiting today and we had some great little chats about all things watchtower.

i would say the chances of him going back are real slim now, for he was telling me of some of his own wtf research on the internet about them.. anyway, at one point he came up, gave me a big hug and said "thankyou for making me think".

it seems that all the little seed dropping and question dropping over the last 3 years really did work!

Aussie Oz

Thankyou all for the comments

this forum has given me life. All i can give back is my journey (as you will find under my posts) of my own awakening and the efforts to help the kids out. Perhaps i will find time to go thru all the posts and pull out the bits and snippets about the kids, its hard to remember all the little drops of questioning i used over the last 3 years or so.

Cantleave, more than happy for you to have reposted, i feel privleged even at the thought that i may in some little way help someone else one day.

lova ya'll peoples

Oz

40

New magazine Carts

by jonno12225 in

jw
friends

news from my wife from the recent meeting is that our congregation will be recieving 2 new magazine carts for market witnessing.

we live in a small market town in north yorkshire and have regular street markets.. the congregation is small (75+ publishers, -1 now) so it seems that this is being rolled out pretty conprehensivly now to all congs.

i still have no info as to whether each congregation has to purchase these from the hq or costings per unit..

Aussie Oz

just get your own cart full of anti JW stuff and follw them around...

Oz